Follow thanklessgrind on Twitter

Spicy Ocelot Placentas Collected

Dante's Inferno Early Impressions Ian's avatar
I haven't got too far into Dante's Inferno yet, but feel the need to plaster the internet with my barely informed opinion. Full disclosure, I haven't made it out of the demo area, so you could just go play that and get most of what I am talking about here. I do have a couple of retail only points though, honest! Should get some time over the weekend to dig into it properly. I am focusing most of my efforts on getting through Mass Effect 2 at the moment. That game is a real beast, and continues to be brilliant. But um, where was I? Oh yes, Dantes's Something


It's like 90% God of War

Remember how the first thing you did in God of War was kill like about 50 week-ass dudes who jumped in through various doors while it teaches you the controls? It does exactly the same thing here, except instead of on a boat you are just near a boat, then a boat crashes into the area. The controls are almost the same as God of War, except they've swapped over the grab and magic buttons. The QTE finishers work exactly the same but I don't think you have to be as quick, though this might just be because I'm early on. This isn't a bad thing anyway, I like God of War, and the third one of those ain't out yet. Though Sam does have that imported US Copy of 1 and 2...

Go to Hell and other Extremeness

I am already liking the nastiness of everything. The first thing you see is an extreme close up of Dante slowing a stupid red cross into his flesh with a rusty needle and screaming about it. Shortly get stabbed very unimpressively in the back by a random guy, but respond by killing Death with his own scythe when he shows up to take you. It continues in this vain with lots of nudity and gore as you descend into Hell. I understand it'll get way worse after I get into hell properly, and I can't wait.


Purchase Downloadble Content?

Every other menu option seems to be about buying DLC. I'm all for properly informing people that you have new content (see Mass Effect 2), but this is taking it a bit far especially considering there isn't anything to buy except Souls which are just money. Is anyone seriously too busy that they don't have time to play the game which is all you have to do to get souls seeing as they fly out of every enemy you kill. You can buy 5000 souls for 320 Microsoft Points. I think I collected 5000 souls in about an hour of gameplay, and you only use them to buy new combos anyway. There is another menu option to download the Trials of St Lucia pack which is a co-op mode and a level editor as far as I can tell, but it's also not released yet.

Jarring Visual Styles

There is a cutscene early on which is some of the nicest pre-rendered CG I've ever seen, and that goes for all the cutscenes. Except when they suddenly become the worst Saturday morning cartoon. They are so bad that they remind me of the Philips CD-I Zelda game intros which I hope you've seen.

Rushed Storytelling

While playing through this area in the demo, I was absolutely convinced that they had truncated the opening part of the game for the Demo to get things moving quicker, but no it's exactly the same here. Scene to scene you go from the Dark Forest to Acre where you have a brief fight, then die and fight death, then go to Florence, and then descend to hell via a church. It all happens so fast, and they at no point really set anything up. I don't think they should assume their audience has read the Divine Comedy, because lets face it, anyone who has is much less likely to buy this game than those who haven't, so I feel they should of done a much better job introducing things. Tags: