Follow thanklessgrind on Twitter

Crunchy Spider Legs Collected

 
Holy Moly! February has games! - Dante's Inferno and Endless Ocean 2 Ian's avatar
 
So anyone noticed that games are coming out this month, like tons? Looking at the google doc that I use to keep track of such things, I have this written down:
  • 5th - Dante's Inferno, Endless Ocean 2: Adventures of the Deep, Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: The Crystal Bearers, Star Trek Online
  • 12th - Bioshock 2
  • 19th - Ace Attorney Investigations, Alien vs. Predator
  • 26th - Heavy Rain, Splinter Cell: Conviction, White Knight Chronicles
These are all games that I have the amount of interest in necessary for me to consider buying them at launch. Clearly I can't afford all these, publishers don't quite send us games yet, and we ain't millionaires. I think I need to mentally work through this list and work out how I'm feeling about them at the moment.

Dante's Inferno - Feb 5th

The Edge writer in me really wants to just dismiss this game out of hand. Frankly, what they've done with the Divine Comedy to make this here game is kind of a travesty. The Joystiq podcast has a regular feature where users submit other ways Visceral could butcher history and literary classics to make immature violent games. Recently however I've managed to break through this wall and am actually coming to appreciate their efforts to be as repugnant and nasty with this game as they can. It’s like their trying to upstage God of War to a ridiculous level to the point where it’s something completely different. Of course God of War does the whole boobs and violence thing, it does it in a such a completely serious way that it manages to have quite a lot of gravitas. Dante's Inferno just seems to be going for crass and nasty for the sake of crass and nasty. Dude, you kill Death and take his scythe, and you cut up demon babies with it, and there are lots of women with their boobs out! etc. How far will they take this weird committee designed corporate crassness?

On top of all that, the God of War clone gameplay looks like they’ve ripped it off completely successfully. From my experiences back in the day failing to be any good at the original Devil May Cry (Curse you firey Spider/Scorpion boss!), I would not of traditionally called myself a fan of these 'Character Action Games'. It was really God of War that simplified them down to the point where I thought they were fun and also to the point where I realised they played completely differently and I was still terrible at Devil May Cry. I recently had a lot of fun playing though Bayonetta on Normal mode without much of a problem, so maybe finally I am ready to kill that bastard spider boss. Despite all the other similar games out there like uh, Ninja Gaidan and uh, Ninja Blade, no game but God of War really plays like God of War. What this has come to mean to me is fixed camera, QTEs to finish enemies, and lots of evading/rolling. It is a bit unfortunate that this game is coming out so close to God of War 3, but at least it's coming the right side of that, and to a platform that won't get it anyway.

Likelihood of purchase – Already pre-ordered

Endless Ocean 2 - Feb 5th

It would be hard to think of two games more diametrically opposed than Dante's Inferno and Endless Ocean 2: Adventures of the Deep. The original Endless Ocean probably wasn't played by many, as you'd be forgiven for thinking it was some sort of edutainment nature non-game. Sure you can't die, aren't really under any sort of duress ever, and spend most of your time tickling fish, but it's still good honest! Did you know it has a weird story about ancient civilisation that you explore the ruins of? Thought so.

The best way I've ever heard the appeal of this described is like being a holiday from games. You play as a scuba diver who is helping a weirdo named Catherine Sunday explore the fictional Manaurai sea, and catalogue all the fish ,penguins (really, penguins?), whales, squids etc you can find. You also make friends with a dolphin, take other people diving with you who have fixiations on wanting to see specific fishes, etc. It’s all very harmless and non-threatening, which is probably the best thing about it. It’s still definitely a game, with a story and such, but it’s just nice not to have to worry about health bars and ammo for a while. So I guess it’s sort of like Flower, but with Fish. They should of just called it Fish. Also the graphics are nice “For a Wii Game ™”

Anyway, the sequel apparently does away with some of that placidness and you have to shoot fish with a fish taser if they act aggressively, which again sounds fun. If only they would give me a Fish AK-47, I’d show them a thing or two…

Likelihood of purchase – Wait for price drop Tags: