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Junipers Pruned

An angry diatribe on the subject of the iPad Ian's avatar
Picture of iPad While not strictly game related, I find that like the rest of the internet I can’t help stand up on whatever soap box I have available and weigh in on my thoughts on Apple’s recently announced iPad tablet thing. Here’s the short version:

No I don’t need a massive iPhone thanks, I’m good.

I’ve really never understood what a tablet is for. Like when in your life is the moment that a tablet makes any sense? I haven't managed to think of a satisfactory answer to this, and no-one out of the admittedly small pool of people I've engaged on the subject has managed to explain what they’re for either. In my mind, you can’t fit it in your pocket so it’s essentially not a portable device in the category of a mobile or an mp3 player. You’d have to carry the damn thing with you in a bag or something. This means I would never get into a good routine of using it every 5 minutes or so like I do checking twitter or looking up something on the net on my iPhone, or. So it’s not really for out and about business. How about at work or at home? No, I have various computers and laptops there that would be much better to use there. So it must be supposed to be for while travelling say on a bus or train? No, my iphone is fine for that thanks. Please, put me out of my misery, someone tell me when would I ever want to use this thing, ever?

Another thing I don’t want to do with the iPad is hold it. Gripping onto this thing that’s 5.5 times heavier than an iphone for extended periods of time sounds pretty darned uncomfortable. At least with a slightly heavier netbook you are sitting it on your knee, something you can’t do that with an iPad because it isn’t angled. Imagine what situation you could effectively type with both hands with an iPad, you’d need to be at your desk which wouldn’t be exactly easy, or sort of hunched over in a position that would probably make it slip off your knees. Course you could get the keyboard stand thing, but you’d be at your desk so use your computer, or you’ve just brought lots of stupid accessories with you in your bag as well you idiot. If you think I’m crazy, please image how you would go about watching a movie on an iPad. Yes, would you kindly figure out the logistics of comfortably watching the entire 127 minute run-time of Star Trek like they’re using in the promotional material. I know, right?

Some of my developer friends are going nuts over the possibility of plying their Objective C knowledge to a whole new device and market with iPad specific apps. I think they are kidding themselves if they think an iPad app store is going to explode to anything like the degree of the iPhone/iPod Touch store. As outlined earlier, I'm not sure people are going to have this thing with them ever, so they won’t be using them in the sort boring situations like waiting for a bus where I think most idle App buying occurs. Most pepole won’t even have a 3g capable one, so wouldn't be able to buy apps out and about anyway. But don't worry development community, iPad users can magnify your iPhone apps and notice all the graphical bugs you couldn't previously see!

I guess one more situation I need to consider is using it as kindle like book device with their iBooks service… No still don’t want to read off an LCD screen sorry. This isn’t going to be some paper replacement device like the Sony Reader of Kindle no matter how much they want it to be. What this really seems to be boiling down for me is a sort of netbook vs. iPad debate. Sam’s Asus EEE is a thing of quiet beauty, and I can really think of no situation I wouldn’t prefer to be using one than a tablet device, and it’s cheaper too! In conclusion, no-one is going to buy this except Apple obsessives who should already have some sort of Apple laptop anyway so they are pretty much sorted for mobile Apple devicery. Don't worry about it, not everything Apple makes is gold. Seen your Macbook Air around recently? No? Yup. Tags: